Marriage Takes Work

For those of you who are married, you know exactly what I mean by marriage takes work.  At least if you want a happy, successful marriage.  Nick and I have been married for over 4 1/4 years and I will tell you ere have been some rough times in that short amount of time.  It takes a lot of effort to work through your issues and come out stronger on the other side.

A lot of the time it starts out to be just small problems, but they can build up.  10 small problems become one large problem.  Now, if you're like me, you try not to say too much about the little things.  I'm not trying to start arguments over dirty socks.  But sometimes, those 10 little things become combined with a bigger thing.  Maybe he wants to hang out with his friends on the weekend, and suddenly you seem to be spending more time alone, and less time together.  Mix that with the 10 small issues that you may already be a little irritated about and you could end up in a fight.  

Unfortunately, this happens to every couple, and living together takes some getting used to!  Its normal to have little quarrels about things.  But what if you begin really missing each others signals.  What if you start fighting over everything.  You're stressed, he is stressed, the electric bill is way higher than you anticipated and someone is to blame.  It happens.  The point is that you have to be rational and understanding of one another.  

It takes hard work to make a marriage run smoothly.  As humans we fend for ourselves.  There is a definite learning curve to accepting maybe a different way of doing the laundry, of drawing up the budget.  You have to learn to cohabitant and that can take some getting used to.  Don't feel bad!  It is okay and a normal part of every relationship.  You need to find your groove as a couple and once you find that, life becomes smoother once again.

Adding children into the mix can take a perfectly happy marriage and jumble it all around.  When people are exhausted, frustrated, and are dealing with caring for a new life, things can get stressful!!  Try to remain connected and be a team.  Life can be stressful.  You just have to try to find a balance.  Finding time for each other is key.  You have to remain connected.  Making time each day, even if its 5 minutes a day to just reconnect, give each other a hug, talk about your day, or just say "I love you"  Investing just 5 minutes a day in your marriage can pay you back big time in the long run.  

You are in this together.  Sometimes you may feel more like enemies than partners.  But at the end of the day when you go to bed, you are a team.  Keep in mind that you chose each other, in good times or in bad.  Never go to bed without a kiss and saying I love you.  It re centers you and reminds you that "hey, i do love you, and were going to be OK"